


Known yet Unknown

by Kiwi_Strawberry_Banana



Category: The Dark Crystal (1982), The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (TV)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26936992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiwi_Strawberry_Banana/pseuds/Kiwi_Strawberry_Banana
Summary: OkAc sifts through his memories of skekLach and urSen and thinks about what they mean.
Relationships: skekLach/skekOk (Dark Crystal)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Known yet Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt by candythemew on tumblr.

The air was quiet, save for the gentle hum of energy that always surrounded OkAc whenever he was alone anymore. His grand light fluctuated, dimming and brightening in his quiet, solitary bedroom.

The other Urskeks, though they would never admit it to the high council, had found themselves in deep contemplation over their experiences when they were on Thra, each having their own viewpoints of it.

SilSol chose to see the experience as two separate ones, lives that he did not truly live, memories that he could only ever view from an outsiders perspective.

ZokZah looked at the experience as one of learning more about themselves as a single being, what those two separate halves had ultimately meant for them all as whole beings.

And, for OkAc, he had mostly decided how he viewed it. He could look at it through his academic lense, see what skekOks written lies and urAcs quiet fables meant for himself as a single individual, and what it meant for those two separate beings whose memories he now possessed.

The Castle court, the Valleys rituals, the gossip, the conversations, killing the Gelfling, helping to raise one. All of it he could look at an unbiased, unemotional lense through which to analyze.

But it was when it came to them that he wavered in his analysis. The thoughts of those two, their relationship, their lack thereof.

It was easy to save face amongst the other Urskeks when performing his duties. When he had his studies and information to parse through, he could focus solely on it.

His mind would not wander to days when his bright, glowing hands had instead been grey and clawed, writing yet another lie on some simple parchment. Days when a sneeze and a sniffle were heard before a jabbing remark was made. Days where he would offer a handkerchief shortly after.

When he communed with the others from Thra, as they often did anymore, he wouldn't have to think about looking towards a slow moving creature, their hair tucked in tightly, as they hid themselves away from the others, hiding so as to spare them the pain of his own death that came and went as though it were every other day.

A day that he remembers making his chest tighten, a day where he had no fables to write. A day when the clouds seemed darker over the Valley.

But a day like every other nonetheless.

And yet, here and now, he was alone with those very thoughts. It was preposterous, and he tried desperately to look at it intelligently, tried to detach the love, the sorrow, the mourning, the isolation from it all.

But he couldn't.

SkekOk loved skekLach. Through all of the teasing, the mocking, the jabs between the two, there was nothing that either would do to forsake the other.

He had mourned for her when she died. Though he was comforted by his allies, that did not stop him from spending quiet afternoons in the library, tucked away in a section that only he would ever visit anymore, reading through pustule remedies or tithing records.

That love and that mourning never ended, not even when skekOk had become OkAc once more. There were attempts to quell it, to push it down, to study it, but no.

He loved her, even now when he was alone in his room.

And yet, he didn't love her. Not when he lived in the quiet Valley, where lives were peaceful, slow, and yet, felt so sad so very often. And that sadness, for urAc, was always felt the most intensely around the other half of her, urSen.

The memories of urAc going by urSens distant room with reading materials in hand, going by more often than necessary, but never staying as long as he wanted.

Mealtimes where there was an empty spot that could only be filled by words he had wished to have said, conversations he wished to have had, information he wished he could have known. A quiet knowledge shared amongst all the Urru, yet never said into aloud.

Though skekLach could leave behind memories of love, squabbles, and mourning, urSen left behind only an empty room and too many unspoken words.

The more he thought, the more OkAc hurt and questioned. His room was a light show as he ran through the emotions, trying to separate yet unify the experiences or lack thereof, trying to make sense of it all.

SkekOk loved skekLach. That love ran so deep and never ending that he now carried it deep within his heart, likely for the rest of his days.

UrAc wished to have known urSen. Whether a mere curiosity, the lingering feelings from his dark half, or perhaps genuine feelings that were truly his own had come forth, even OkAc could not say.

He just knew he regretted never having the chance to know who urSen really was.

And even before they were rent asunder, as hazy as those times are, OkAc never knew LachSen in the same way he had never known his other brethren in the way he does now.

Though they would confide in one another and work together, there was no air of familiarity, of true bonding amongst them. They were simply criminals and outcasts, paying their dues in order to return home.

What would have happened if he could have known LachSen now? What would he ask? What would they say? Would they still feel as he does, a strong love built from a close bond, yet a distant relationship built on little to nothing?

If they had lived, what would become of the two of them? Would they simply live their lives as they once had before Thra, ignoring that ache whenever they pass one another the way NaNol and AyukAmaj do? Would they come to his quarters at night, sneaking around so they may confide in one another the way EktUtt and AyukAmaj pretend they don't?

His head felt heavy with questions that he knew he could never have the answers for, yet could never help asking.

With a heavy sigh, OkAc turned in, needing some rest.

Perhaps tomorrow night, he'll find the answers to his questions.

Perhaps tomorrow night, he'll know who he loved.


End file.
